CRAWLER’S CHAOS: Hunter’s Blood (1986)
“WHAT THE HELL’S A PIG IN A BLANET?”
That’s what one of the members of the small cast asks. Possibly some perverted campfire game due to the prior conversation. Maybe we shouldn’t know. The small cast have camped down in some deep and lost world style woods, as they plan to hunt deer. I watched this movie the other night after finding it on a rarity large box Palace VHS, complete with about two lines of static across the screen, proving the baby had been well used; I miss those VHS days. So many times had this gem cropped up in reviews over the years, and the fact it isn’t out on DVD made me whoop when I found it for 50p in a local shop. Was it worth it? Yes for the price, no for the great hype and build up.
The film starts with a porno soundtrack and many hands feeling a naked man’s body in a shower, and a bit of romance as the main character readies himself for a weekend of hunting with family and friends. Driving to their destination, the five rich folk pull up for gas and instantly annoy the locals – two of whom look like they’ve walked out of 30 Days of Night, but with BBQ sauce all over their faces, and the oldest lollypop sucking bargirl around. Not a good idea, because though the rednecks may talk like Cletus from The Simpsons (real slow y’all), they have nasty tempers. After a scuffle, we are treated to a truck chase scene through the back roads, and 29 minutes in, me and my gal laughed for ages at an amazing man thrown from a moving vehicle, who appeared to jump instead of fall with a “Whoooaa.” Classic.
After shaking off the locals, they’re warned by two rangers about a big gang of lawless poachers in the area. Sure enough, they run bang into them and another scuffle begins, in which Clu Gulager (Return of the Living Dead) threatens them with a shotgun. “We meant no harm,” says the leader called Red Beard (??!!), even though his mates have just smashed a headlight on their 4×4 and pissed on them. Oh, and threatened to turn the younger lads into “pussy”. These rednecks sure love butt raping, y’all.
“We’re gonna getcha!” Thus begins five city men against a small army straight from a Jack Ketchum story, as we witness multiple gunshot hits, a severed head, one of the rangers hung, and a show-stopping shotgun wound to the face. The five city men are really likeable for the first half, but then the script becomes predictable “if we make it you’ll be my best drinkin’ buddy” rubbish. In fact, the last part of the film is almost join the dots, if you know what I mean.
Personally, I’d avoid paying the big cash Amazon and Ebay people ask, and settle for a cheap VHS, bootleg copy, or just check it out on Youtube ( link provided below). It’s a fun film, well acted, and some of the effects are fantastic to look at. However, we never find out about the pig in a blanket.
©2010 Cinematic Horror Archive, Dave J. Wilson – All work is the property of the credited author(s) and may not be reprinted or reproduced elsewhere without permission.